Is God in Control?

So often we take a look at the things that are happening in our life and we realize that this world is spinning out of control. In our relationship with God there are many factors that have to be taken into consideration and what we believe in accuracy. How many times has life completely went wrong for you and your first statement was, "well, God is still in control" Is that a fact or a feeling? Do we really believe that God is in full control? Better yet do we allow him to be? I am learning in this moment that when we make that statement that the facts are construded. God is not in full control. In early posts I mentioned that God's original intent for our life was Free Will. He does not control the choices that we make. The fact is that God is not in control unless we allow him to be or we ask him to be.

We have control over our choices and sometimes those very choices bring forth an outcome that we neither want nor do we desire. Sometimes in our life we say these things to remove the attention of the affliction. We want him to be in control because then we can blame God for the actions in our life and yet the only one there is to truly blame for the events that take place is ourselves because it is by our choices that our destiny is brought into existence. For instance if the enemy is just tearing us apart day in and day out, and we are constantly reassuring ourselves, "Well, the Lord is in control." When all the while we are steady carrying the burdens and heartache on our shoulder then who is really in control me or God.

A child is sitting in the floor playing with his favorite airplane when he throws it as high into the air as he can get it. As the plane crashes to the floor the wing shatters into three large pieces. The child comes running to his father, "Daddy, my airplane broke. Here is the plane and here are two of the pieces." The father attempts to fix the wing and says, " Son, I need the other piece to fix it." The child replies, " No Daddy, I can do it."

So many times in our life we carry around the pieces of our broken heart and our shattered life and we drag them to the cross. We carry it to the cross and we repeatedly beg God to fix our situation and yet when we start off a new day we carry those same feelings, those same trials, and we make those same choices and we never give them to God. It is then that we have removed his hand and replaced it with our own.

There is a bigger sin there. A sin of Idolatry there. We believe that we can do a better job than God can. Once this happens we begin acting out in our own will and our own choices thinking that we can do a better job. This is where we also start self medicating as well.

Shame

In this journey to freedom one of the greatest battles that I have faced was that I was not worthy enough to recieve the love that was being offered to me. I have asked the question so many times of what is wrong with me. In realizing that it is not that I have done something wrong but that something is simple wrong with my existence. In listening to a wise leader in conference the other day. She started explaining that shame was a wrongness of being. This was a subject that I really felt the need to explore. Shame is something that will hold us captive. It will alter our identity and will change our outlook on life because it removes out self worth. According to the websters dictionary here is the formal definition.

shame

–noun

1.	the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc., done by oneself or another: She was overcome with shame.

2.	susceptibility to this feeling: to be without shame.

3.	disgrace; ignominy: His actions brought shame upon his parents.

4.	a fact or circumstance bringing disgrace or regret: The bankruptcy of the business was a shame. It was a shame you couldn't come with us.

–verb (used with object)

5.	to cause to feel shame; make ashamed: His cowardice shamed him.

6.	to drive, force, etc., through shame: He shamed her into going.

7.	to cover with ignominy or reproach; disgrace.

—Idioms

8.	for shame! you should feel ashamed!: What a thing to say to your mother! For shame!

9.	put to shame, a. to cause to suffer shame or disgrace. b. to outdo; surpass: She played so well she put all the other tennis players to shame.

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Synonyms:
1. Shame, embarrassment, mortification, humiliation, chagrin designate different kinds or degrees of painful feeling caused by injury to one's pride or self-respect. Shame is a painful feeling caused by the consciousness or exposure of unworthy or indecent conduct or circumstances: One feels shame at being caught in a lie. It is similar to guilt in the nature and origin of the feeling. Embarrassment usually refers to a feeling less painful than that of shame, one associated with less serious situations, often of a social nature: embarrassment over breaking a teacup at a party. Mortification is a more painful feeling, akin to shame but also more likely to arise from specifically social circumstances: his mortification at being singled out for rebuke. Humiliation is mortification at being humbled in the estimation of others: Being ignored gives one a sense of humiliation. Chagrin is humiliation mingled with vexation or anger: She felt chagrin at her failure to remember her promise. 5. humiliate, mortify, humble, abash, embarrass.

Antonyms:
1. pride, self-esteem, self-respect.

In reading over what the actual definition was to shame. The complete opposite of shame is self respect. How often are we disrespecting ourselves because we carry the weight of our existence being wrong around on our shoulders. How is it that this horrendous belief formed and how do we get rid of it. We have to find where this ends because if it is not brought to an end then we will never obtain the freedom that we are searching for. So we must notice and realize what exactly we are feeling and what is holding us captive.

Relationships 101

In a relationship, we must first understand that that the foundation is trust. In order to trust someone we must first believe in them. That could mean many things. Believing in someone or something that you cannot see yet or hear or know for a fact is the beginning of Faith. Heb.11:1 "Now Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen." We we are at the turning point in our life as to whether we are going to follow God or not, whether to accept salvation or not, then we have to realize that the beginning is to choose. Then the second step is to believe. The one requirement for salvation is to believe because you cannot serve something that you do not believe in. You cannot be in a relationship with someone that you do not believe in. For instance, if you were searching for a mate and found the perfect mate. Just picture it, a slum lord basically. Someone who never attempts to better themself who is always negative and who is constantly creating drama. Could you fall in love with someone like that. Yes. I know you are a little confused so just continue reading. You could fall in love with someone like that if you believed that was their best. You could also fall in love with them if you believed they could be better. It is a hope that you are believing in. You are believing in that person though. No matter what. In the same aspect we must first believe in God. This would be the first step to being in a relationship will God.

Deep calling into Deep

There is a place in this journey that after you have been formally introduced to Our Creator that something inside you will begin to happen. There is a transformation point where the Spirit of the Lord calls deep within the spirit that lives within us. Sometimes it will call to the deepest parts of our very existance and we will not even realize that it is calling. There is a point in this journey that the lord tells us to pray without ceasing and we are to bring our petitions before him but me must understand that there is also a point where we must stop and be still. To know him we must listen to him. If we are constantly over talking him and not giving him a chance to speak then we are defeating the purpose. In realizing that God truly has felt everything that we have felt. Have you ever really thought about it. When God created the heavens and the earth, he felt that it was good. The bible tells us that but why were we created. Why did he need us when he is everything. He is the Great I AM. The answer to that is that we were created to praise him. Why? God was lonely. He wanted to be in relationship with us. He wanted to love and to be loved. How many times in our life to we seek acceptance and attention. I know in my case especially in living the lifestyle of a victim, that is how we humanly try to fullfill that need. We play on the sympathy of others and try to obtain the fullfillment of love and belonging. God's original intent for our life is for us to be loved. That is why he says in his word that he IS love. It was our first commandment. : Mark 12:28-31 28 One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?" 29 "The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' 31 The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." (from New International Version)

God The Name of All Names

• El - God (mighty, strong, prominent) used 250 times in the old testiment
  
• Elohim- God (creator, preserver, transendent, mighty, and strong) 2570 times in the old testament
• El Shaddai - God Almighty or God All Sufficient 48 times in the old testament
• Adonai - Lord , Master 300 times in the old testament
• Jehovah - LORD
  
• Yahweh - covenant name of God 6823 times in the old testament
• Jehovah Jireh- The Lord will Provide
• Jehovah Rophe- The Lord who Heals
• Jehovah Nissi- The Lord our Banner
• Jehovah-M'Kaddesh - The Lord who Santifies
• Jehovah-Shalom - The Lord our Peace
• Shepherd
• Judge
• Jehovah Elohim- Lord God
• Jehovah Tsidkenu- The Lord Our Righteousness
• Jehovah-Rohi- The Lord our Shepherd
• Jehovah-Shammah- The Lord is There
• Jehovah-Sabaoth- The Lord of Hosts
• El Elyon- Most High
• Abhir - Mighty One
• Branch
• Kadosh- Holy One
• Shaphat- Judge
• El Rol- The God who Sees
• Kanna- Jealous
• Palet- Deliverer
• Goal- Reedemer
• Magon- Shield
• Stone
  
• Eyaluth- Strength psalms 22:19
• Tsaddiq- Righteous One psalms 7:9
• El Olam- Everlasting God
  
• El Berith- God of the Covenant
• El Gibhor- Mighty God
• Zur- God our Rock
• Melekh- King
• Father
• The First and the Last
• Kurious- Lord
• Despotes- Lord
• Theos- God
• Theotes- Godhead
• Hupsistos- Highest
  
• Soter- Savior
• The Word
• Almighty

These are just a few of the names of God. There are three parts of the Godhead and in knowing one you must know all so I am also going to include the names the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

Jesus- Derived from the Hebrew Joshua (Yshua) of Je-Hashua meaning Jehovah is Salvation
Christ- The Annointed One

And these are the names of the Holy Spirit

Counselor, Comforter, Baptizer, Strengthener, Sanctifier, Spirit of Christ, Seven Fold Spirit, Spirit of Truth, Spirit of Grace, Spirit of Mercy, Spirit of God, Spirit of Holiness, Spirit of life.

Symbolized in the old and new testaments as

1. breath or wind
   
2. fire
3. water
4. oil
5. light
6. dove

So here is your formal introduction. Let me introduce you to the God I serve. To find about more on the names of God, all information was obtained at www.ldolphin.org/names.html.

The official introduction to God

When you meet someone on the street or in a business, there is always a formal introduction. Usually it goes something like, I would like you to meet John Doe or Jane, or Sam, or Bob. In order to identify with someone the first step is knowing their name. It amazes me that God even points out to us that there is power in his name. If we are created in the image of God then we must also realize that we have power in our name. What does our name say about us. In Proverbs 18:10 it says The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe. Just by calling his name things were brought into existence. There is validation in simply someone calling you by name. When we live the lifestyle of a victim, how often are we called out of our name. It tears away our identity and in return we begin to bounce around in the cycle of victimization because it steals our identity. I have been on this journey and have asked myself a hundred times who am I. I want to know who I am. My name is Faith. I actually have a definition to my name. Hebrews 11:1 Now Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. In knowing that, I still really don't know who I am. Why? I feel lost most of the time. Not knowing in which direction to turn. Well, the answer is that I am seeking to know him so first off I want to know his Name.

Identies formed on a lie

If your belief systems are designed on the foundation of a lie then your actions are carried out enforcing that lie. In laymens terms this is where that familiar statement comes from of, I am living a lie. It also creates your perception of your identity to be false so this is also the beginning of an open door to confusion. This is where that familiar journey that we all tend to take of Who Am I really begins. In the very beginning I said that in understanding who God really is that it was then we could begin to understand who we are. We cannot love anyone until we first learn to love ourself. We cannot love ourself if we dont know who we are. We cannot know who we really are until we know who God is. And we cannot know who God is unless we seek to know him. It is all a process that is not just a quick fix but all of the answers are right in front of us. Matthew 7:7: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you. If I were to be completely honest with you, my heart longs to know him. I so long to know and understand my creator. How majestic he is and how loving he must be. To understand the call of God on my life and to know that he wants to use me has brought me to such a humbling place. My prayer is to help others understand and learn the process of who they are in which the first lesson will be who he is.

How we form our identity

As I step into the area of belief systems, I want you to understand that not all belief systems are bad. We have to be able to know the difference between the two. Usually in a lot of ways our belief systems can design the construction of our very existence. It allows us to function within our identity. For instance if I get up every morning and tell myself that i am ugly, then due to the consistency and repetition of that assumption, I begin to believe that I am ugly. Because of that belief I begin to accept it to be truth. Because I believe it to true then my actions in regards to that belief start reinforcing what I have already chosen to belief. So I may go out and choose the ugliest tattoo in the parlor and have it tattooed across my face. Why? Well, I believe that I am ugly anyway so now I am giving my belief power and opening a door for others to believe the same. On the counterside of that, if I wake up every day and tell myself that I am a child of the living King. Then when the struggles in my life arise, I will never feel alone or less of a person because I have chosen to believe that I am a daughter to the King. The repetition of my words in what I have spoken into my life is now beginning to form my identity. Once I believe it to be truth in my life whether good or bad, my actions will begin to reinforce what I have chosen to believe in which we open doors for others to believe the same. This is how we train people to treat us as victims because we believe we are a victim and nothing more.

In the middle of the cycle

When you are in the middle of a cycle there are a few things that you have to do in order to actually escape it. The first thing is to notice everything. When you become aware of your choices and surroundings then you can be aware of every result which can trigger your thinking process into seeking to find what your intent is. When you begin to notice patterns that are of a repetitive nature, you can start to analize them to find what is the common demoninator between each pattern. Once we see what they all have that is the same then we can begin to compare that to our life and most likely what we will find is that it is familiar to us. What I mean by that is that we tend to stick with the things that we have always known. That in itself explains why this lifestyle is considered a cycle. After finding that common ground, the next question that we have to ask ourself is what need are we filling in ourselves that causes us to repeat our choices. What many people do not realize is that the definition of insanity is repeating an action over and over and over expecting a different result. Why do you think when you have been held captive everyday of your life, that you feel that you are going crazy because nothing seems to make any sense to you? It is because we are in the middle of the vicious cycle. We are repeating the same actions, making the same choices and yet we expect a change. We tend to let it drain our energy because we keep doing the same things over and over and because we are not seeing a difference, we quickly give up. I can only speak for myself but I am tired of being in the middle of the cycle.

For every Action there is a Reaction!

For every action there is a reaction and for every event in your life there is a belief system that is formed. Understanding truth is understading what we believe and understanding what we believe is understanding how those beliefs are formed. In any situation in our life, there is a process that takes place. An event takes place, once you see that event your thought process begins to work and it is then that you form a feeling. Feelings are never wrong but your thoughts on a paticular subject could be. For example, you may tell me that I am ugly and it may really hurt my feelings. Why? The reason is because to some degree I believe that it is true. It my by my thoughts and my beliefs that my feelings are formed. In understanding this process, it empowers us because we now have the ability to regain control over something that we once had no control over. Being a victim is an isolated event. My thought process and choosing to live the lifestyle of a victim is what holds me captive on a daily basis. By understanding how these beliefs and feelings are formed I am given the option to choose. I can choose to think on things of a pure nature or on things that bring death. Phillipians 4:8 "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirablep- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things." I then have the option to control the reaction to my life. By obtaining this choice, i am given power which is the first step to regaining my identity of God's original intent for my life. Free Will.

What are the benefits of being a Victim?

One of the major reasons that we continue to remain in the lifestyle of a victim is because there are benefits that we reap by maintaining that role. When we allow an isolated situation to control the future result, we have to question what out intent is. The benefits to being a victim are #1 it gives us a false sense of love and acceptance because when we are treated like a victim we will play off of the sympathy or comfort offered to us to obtain a sense that we are cared for and we are loved. #2 It is a release of responsibility of our actions, beliefs, and our thoughts because we can blame our choices on the event that has created this identity within us. For instance, I lied for attention because of the rape because I felt you could never love me because of this event. #3 Another benefit that I have discovered is a false validation on concept of acceptance and self worth. When we function in the mindset of a victim we feel that we are entitled to sympathy or extra acts of kindness because our belief that we deserve it because we have gone through so much more than the average person. We deserve to be treated differently because we have suffered. So many different benefits that yet we dont even realize that we are attracted to because this is where we begin to feel our own needs and we completely leave God behind because we feel as if he has left us anyway because he allowed this hidious act to be committed to us. The words of the Lord that we must remember though are "I will never leave you nor forsake you" Question, Who are you going to believe???

The Life of a Victim

Living the life of a victim is a very vicious cycle. We must first understand what being a victim really means. A victim is someone who suffers trauma within a situation that the person has no control over. We begin to distort out identity when we choose to live the life of a victim. Being victimized is an isolated event, for instance, i am a victim of rape. It was throughout my childhood that this happened. Now that i am an adult and i still being raped, NO. Then why do I continue to life in this lifestyle. Well there are many benefits to being a victim but what happens is that we choose to live the lifestyle as a victim because it fullfills a need within us. As a victim we begin to teach others that we are a victim and they learn to treat us as a victim. With this there will be one of two things that take place. One, the person will shower us with synpathy in which we will milk for everything it is worth in order to feel our need to be loved or two, the person will hurt us knowing that they can keep us within the lifestyle of a victim and so we take that pain and chalk it up to being love because as a victim most people are hurt by the ones that they love and they have created the belief system that love hurts. As this takes place they are then victimized again from this particular situation which continues the cycle of being a victim. Choice is yours next question is what do we do from here?

What are belief systems?

A belief system is a way of thinking that we have either created in our minds or have been taught through an event in our life that can either help construct our very existence or it can alter our complete identity. So many belief systems often go unnoticed because we just do not take into consideration of what we are speaking into our life or onto someone elses life. Common phrases are often the profound statements of a belief system. In every belief system there is an element of truth somewhere but any belief taken to extreme is unhealthy because we can obess over that belief to the point that we open the door to the sin of idolatry because we have then brought this belief to a place where we worship it. We allow to define us, in every aspect of our life because it is familiar and is a way for us to attempt to gain control and lead without the guidance of God. The transformation takes place at that point where we take an ounce of truth mold it into our God and live the rest of our life living a lie. This is also where we give birth to religion.

Who Am I

So many times I have asked myself that very question. I have wondered why there were so many things in my life that defined who I was and why I reacted in different situations in such different ways. I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt though that God has a plan for each and everyone of us and by understand who he really is, that it is then we really understand who we are. God's orginal design for our life is often corrupted by the belief systems that we have embraced and have been taught. In order to gain freedom to be who God truly intended for you to be, you must first realize what the truth is and then speak that truth to God first and formost and then to yourself. James 3:10 "Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing" We have the power to speak life or death so the beginning step that we must first realize is that we have the ability and the right as children of God to call those things that be not as they are. Who Am I was the first original question. To tell you of my journey is to answer that in honest so first off I will answer that with I am pain, abandonment, rejection, violation, rape, incest, physical abused, emotionally a wreck, fear, doubt, failure, terror, and perversion. To answer your question, I am a victim.