Is God in Control?

So often we take a look at the things that are happening in our life and we realize that this world is spinning out of control. In our relationship with God there are many factors that have to be taken into consideration and what we believe in accuracy. How many times has life completely went wrong for you and your first statement was, "well, God is still in control" Is that a fact or a feeling? Do we really believe that God is in full control? Better yet do we allow him to be? I am learning in this moment that when we make that statement that the facts are construded. God is not in full control. In early posts I mentioned that God's original intent for our life was Free Will. He does not control the choices that we make. The fact is that God is not in control unless we allow him to be or we ask him to be.

We have control over our choices and sometimes those very choices bring forth an outcome that we neither want nor do we desire. Sometimes in our life we say these things to remove the attention of the affliction. We want him to be in control because then we can blame God for the actions in our life and yet the only one there is to truly blame for the events that take place is ourselves because it is by our choices that our destiny is brought into existence. For instance if the enemy is just tearing us apart day in and day out, and we are constantly reassuring ourselves, "Well, the Lord is in control." When all the while we are steady carrying the burdens and heartache on our shoulder then who is really in control me or God.

A child is sitting in the floor playing with his favorite airplane when he throws it as high into the air as he can get it. As the plane crashes to the floor the wing shatters into three large pieces. The child comes running to his father, "Daddy, my airplane broke. Here is the plane and here are two of the pieces." The father attempts to fix the wing and says, " Son, I need the other piece to fix it." The child replies, " No Daddy, I can do it."

So many times in our life we carry around the pieces of our broken heart and our shattered life and we drag them to the cross. We carry it to the cross and we repeatedly beg God to fix our situation and yet when we start off a new day we carry those same feelings, those same trials, and we make those same choices and we never give them to God. It is then that we have removed his hand and replaced it with our own.

There is a bigger sin there. A sin of Idolatry there. We believe that we can do a better job than God can. Once this happens we begin acting out in our own will and our own choices thinking that we can do a better job. This is where we also start self medicating as well.

Shame

In this journey to freedom one of the greatest battles that I have faced was that I was not worthy enough to recieve the love that was being offered to me. I have asked the question so many times of what is wrong with me. In realizing that it is not that I have done something wrong but that something is simple wrong with my existence. In listening to a wise leader in conference the other day. She started explaining that shame was a wrongness of being. This was a subject that I really felt the need to explore. Shame is something that will hold us captive. It will alter our identity and will change our outlook on life because it removes out self worth. According to the websters dictionary here is the formal definition.

shame

–noun

1.	the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc., done by oneself or another: She was overcome with shame.

2.	susceptibility to this feeling: to be without shame.

3.	disgrace; ignominy: His actions brought shame upon his parents.

4.	a fact or circumstance bringing disgrace or regret: The bankruptcy of the business was a shame. It was a shame you couldn't come with us.

–verb (used with object)

5.	to cause to feel shame; make ashamed: His cowardice shamed him.

6.	to drive, force, etc., through shame: He shamed her into going.

7.	to cover with ignominy or reproach; disgrace.

—Idioms

8.	for shame! you should feel ashamed!: What a thing to say to your mother! For shame!

9.	put to shame, a. to cause to suffer shame or disgrace. b. to outdo; surpass: She played so well she put all the other tennis players to shame.

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Synonyms:
1. Shame, embarrassment, mortification, humiliation, chagrin designate different kinds or degrees of painful feeling caused by injury to one's pride or self-respect. Shame is a painful feeling caused by the consciousness or exposure of unworthy or indecent conduct or circumstances: One feels shame at being caught in a lie. It is similar to guilt in the nature and origin of the feeling. Embarrassment usually refers to a feeling less painful than that of shame, one associated with less serious situations, often of a social nature: embarrassment over breaking a teacup at a party. Mortification is a more painful feeling, akin to shame but also more likely to arise from specifically social circumstances: his mortification at being singled out for rebuke. Humiliation is mortification at being humbled in the estimation of others: Being ignored gives one a sense of humiliation. Chagrin is humiliation mingled with vexation or anger: She felt chagrin at her failure to remember her promise. 5. humiliate, mortify, humble, abash, embarrass.

Antonyms:
1. pride, self-esteem, self-respect.

In reading over what the actual definition was to shame. The complete opposite of shame is self respect. How often are we disrespecting ourselves because we carry the weight of our existence being wrong around on our shoulders. How is it that this horrendous belief formed and how do we get rid of it. We have to find where this ends because if it is not brought to an end then we will never obtain the freedom that we are searching for. So we must notice and realize what exactly we are feeling and what is holding us captive.